|Reflections ... by Naomi Broudo|
I have had a couple of those profound moments this week. The kind of moments that catch you off guard and you literally are stopped in your tracks.
What got me rolling towards this "rega choshvim"? Finding out I was no longer a Leo was pretty traumatic. That certainly could have contributed to it. Was it admitting that our son Aaron's Brooklyn Night Bazaar needed an artist/designer cooler than his mom to create an edgy Brooklyn hipster website — yah, definitely getting me there. Or was it Poppytalk letting me know that my pattern paintings were more suited for an older audience and not really appropriate for the Poppytalk demographic ...
Yup that did it.
Soon after that jaw dropper, a comment from someone I had just met confirmed my need for — you know — a good long "rega choshvim". She said (with the best of intentions), I was quite different in person than what she expected reading my blog ...
That's the moment I'm talking about — where everything starts going in slow motion and it is like everything else that came before fades away and all you can think about is — "Who am I"?
I am sure we all suffer from this. I know that well into my 30's I still thought I was 18. And even today, I have a hard time believing I am really over 50 (almost half way to 60 to be exact). So what is a gal supposed to do in such a situation?
A "moment thinking" does the trick for me every time. I checked in with myself and realized I am fine with the fact that I am a 54 (almost 55 years old) mother, wife, designer, ketubah artist and creator of fresh ideas. I love to write about things that are important to me and I am pretty sure that who I am on these ages is who I am in person. I don't think I could ever have been described as edgy or hip or cool, so it is OK that I can't describe myself that way now. I will never give up trying to find audiences for my work, even as certain doors close. The eternal optimist, I always believe that when one door closes, another better one opens.
After this experience when I look in my internal mirror, I see a slightly older, me, but I am totally fine with that!